* cababarant *

Monday, March 07, 2005

Crooks and Choppers
I am totally obsessed with a new show called It Takes a Thief on the Discovery Channel. The premise is that these two ex-burglars drive around, choose a house, then talk the owners into letting them break in. In reward for their trouble, the owners receive a total security upgrade of their property, designed by the ex-burglar who hosts the show (Jon is the one who breaks into the house, Matt is the one who hosts the show and talks the owners into this 'adventure'. The show is addictive. The owners watch in shock from a remote location while Jon breaks into their houses and completely trashes and ransacks them, all the while packing up and taking their valuable property. They then get to meet Jon (all of them talk shmack about "punching his lights out" etc. then when they meet him they meekly shake his hand-- hee hee), and he tells them how easy their house was to break into. The show is also prescriptive-- Matt walks the owners through a security upgrade the day after Jon burglarizes the place, pointing out all the security weaknesses of the house: valuable documents (passports, blank checks, etc.) unlocked, no bolted safe in the house, old windows and doors that are easy to kick in, useless dogs that don't bark, neighbors that don't care (Jon in one episode walks past the owners' neighbor, while carrying a suitcase, golfclubs and a cooler out of the house), and a host of other problems.

The thing that's so addictive about it is 1) the formula, and 2) these guys just seem like regular, normal good-looking dudes. Jon looks like an eyelash-y Edward Norton, and Matt looks like an ex jolly frat boy. In one episode, the owners are three late-twenties guys sharing a house that one of them inherited. Jon was like, "Do you know how many guys like you I meet in bars and before you know it you've told me your vacation plans, or about your expensive hobbies?" And it's guys like those that don't lock their doors-- at the end of each episode, Jon and Matt try to get back into the house a few weeks later. With the house with the three guys, they simply walk through an unlocked front door. Matt is clearly disappointed with these morons.

Edward Norton and Fratboy

One reason the formula works is because all the homeowners are consistently delusional about their home security. They are always like "Well, I'll protect my family if someone gets in" or "the dogs will protect us if someone gets in" but are never really thinking about their house when no one is there, which is when these guys break in. They are then consistently ragingly upset while watching this guy throw all their underwear out of their dressers, and suddenly they feel "violated", and they no longer feel safe. Duh! Just because you're not there doesn't mean it matters less!

Anyway, the show has been on ad-nauseum on Discovery, but I think it officially airs new episodes at 8 pm on Wednesdays. Don't plan on sleeping well in your unsecured house after watching it!

In other Discovery Channel news, new episodes of American Chopper start tonight! This has been one of my ongoing TV guilty pleasures since we were in Holland. Every episode can be summed up as such: "The guys at Orange County Choppers are hired to build a super cool bike for [fill in the blank: Lance Armstrong, NYC Fire Department, Jay Leno, etc. etc.]. Hilarity and hijinx ensue! Paul Sr. screams his ass off at Paulie because the shop is a mess. Vinny watches the fiasco while tooling around with something on the bike. Mikey comes to the OCC shop, cracks a few jokes then takes a nap on the couch. Paul Sr. screams his ass off at Paulie some more. They unveil the bike at [fill in the blank: a bike show, a charity event, the Tonight Show, etc. etc.].

Damn this show is hy-larious!

The Pauls. Yee ha!

posted by sheryl | 6:10 PM |

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