* cababarant *

Friday, July 29, 2005

That #$!*?% cat!

I spoke too soon. This past week the pain of potty-training a cat has been, well, more painful than ever. It's almost like Smokey waited until she had gotten far enough for me to feel like, "hey, this is actually working!" before deciding to take revenge and totally regress. Aargh! Here is what's been going on:

1. Smokey gets outside. The day after Smokey had her pooping-in-the-potty breakthrough, where she didn't even use the litter in the CitiKitty litter tray, but went in the water instead (awesome!)-- she snuck outside. We've been trying to keep her in the house to make her experience consistent. She ended up actually spending the whole night outside without us noticing, then came back inside in the morning, exhausted-- probably from pooping all over the neighborhood. She ended up sleeping the whole rest of the day and not using the toilet. Not good.

2. Smokey poops in a houseplant. I don't think I even have to explain this, but this is what our houseplant looks like now:

Yes, we had to cover the dirt with cardboard to prevent her from trying it again. And this is where our other houseplants are now:

The houseplants inadvertently enjoying the warm summer weather. If plants could talk, they would probably say, "Thanks, Smokey!"

The last straw of the potty-training fiasco was today:

3. Smokey poops on the bathroom floor. I didn't think it could possibly happen, but Smokey used the toilet to #1 (good), and used the cold, tile bathroom floor to #2 (BAD). This is how stressed she is about the toilet: she preferred to go on the cold tile, rather than the litter tray on the toilet.

This is totally depressing! But, I'm not ready to give up yet. I decided to order another litter tray to go a couple steps back in the process so she can use the litter tray again, and we are putting her on LOCKDOWN. The running outside completely destroyed the process. The other night when she got out (again) Kyle went after her and one of the first things he saw her do was go through a hole in a chain link fence (where he couldn't follow her) and start digging a hole... it doesn't take a genius to figure out what she did next.

We'll see how this goes-- we're not through yet, Smokey!

Smokey: How you like me now??!!

posted by sheryl | 3:19 AM | comments (1)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The trials of Sitting Cat

A few weeks ago, I got the bright idea of toilet-training our cat, Smokey. Inspired by Mr. Jinx from Meet the Parents ("Cats don't have thumbs!!") I finally decided to give it a shot, after many years of entertaining the idea of never, ever having to touch another litter box. The reason I decided to do it now is because I found a link, via Shiny Shiny, for the CitiKitty, a training kit that cost only $30. I figured, $30 is worth the investment, just for the prospect of flushing cat poop instead of scooping it out of a nasty litter box. Now the question was... is Smokey going to actually use it?

So we received the kit in the mail and with the help of a big bag of Cat Country flushable litter, we went to work. (Actually, I should say "I" went to work because Kyle has been laughing about it for weeks now. Although, he has been helpful in vacuuming the scattered cat litter all over our bathroom floor.) You get rid of the litter box, which is a very scary step. We decided to start closing all our bedroom doors so Smokey wouldn't get any bright ideas about revenge. The first step is to set the tray (without any holes) on the toilet under the toilet seat and fill it with litter. Smokey adapted to this beautifully. It was basically just like a high-up litter box for her. But after we cut out the first hole, the setbacks started:

1. Constantly moving the litter tray. We have only one bathroom, so one of the most annoying things about this was that every time any of us actual people had to use the bathroom, we had to move the damn tray off the toilet and set it off the floor. This was fine when there were no holes in the middle of it, but once we cut out the first hole, there was litter all over the floor, all the time. We just started leaving the vacuum cleaner plugged in next to the bathroom for the constant clean-up. Aargh!

2. Smokey gets creative. We always thought Smokey was a little, well, dim for a cat, but nothing makes your cat smarter than a toilet-training process she does not like. Once we cut out that first hole, she was like "Hell to the no!" She started putting her paw down the hole trying to figure out what was down there, then she would push all the litter down the hole before she would pee on the litter tray. Gross. Constant flushing of the toilet and vacuuming and refilling the tray followed each ordeal. The biggest obstacle (literally) is that she did not want to poop on the tray after that first hole was there. So, instead...

3. Smokey opens a bag of litter. Yes, we kept a bag of litter in the back of the kitchen, and she got so desperate when we weren't home one day that she used her teeth to open the bag, scooped a bunch of litter out with her paws, made a little litter pile, and pooped on it-- right in the back of the kitchen. After the initial anger and gross-out-ness, we were like, "Hey, that's pretty smart!" So the litter bag had to be moved to the basement steps... with the door closed, of course.

4. Smokey poops in a box. Her next act of desperation to avoid pooping in the litter tray was less creative, but just as gross. Because we were fed up with the litter scattered all over the bathroom floor, we started setting the bottom of the box that the CitiKitty came in on the floor next to the toilet. That way, when we moved the tray off, the scattered litter would be confined to the box. Bad idea. One day, when we weren't home (why did we ever leave the house when we were doing this?!) she decided a box with no litter was a better place to poop than a litter tray with a hole in it. Ugh. Trish came to the house, then left again immediately to take Sofia and Soleil to go use the bathroom... at McDonald's! Good thing no one had to go too badly!

Smokey avoiding the paparazzi (and still avoiding the toilet as well)

You'd think we would have given up on this after these fiascos. But I was determined to make this happen. All you really have to do is imagine that disgusting litter box, and anything seems better than that. Smokey started reluctantly using the tray (to poop, too), and hasn't had any other bright ideas since (basically because we removed as many options as possible, and lots of doors have stayed closed in the house). We started learning when she really had to go. She would start running around like a crazy, she wouldn't purr and she would be trying desperately to get outside (by taking a running start at the screen door). After all that, she would usually go use the toilet, making a mess of the litter. After going, she would be so exhausted from holding it in and running around the house like a freak, that she would curl up on my tennis bag by the front door and sleep for the rest of the day. (Yeah, I would be exhausted too!)

The breakthrough came when one day she went, and actually pushed the poop down the hole into the toilet. Eureka! We started rewarding her after she would do her business: I would pick her up as she was leaving the bathroom and say "Good Smokey!" and take her directly into the kitchen and give her Fancy Feast-- an unbelievable treat for an overweight cat. It has been working like a charm: no soft food until she does her "work".

Now, four weeks after we started, we are on the second-to-last ring of the litter tray. She isn't using the litter anymore and is actually going directly into the toilet. It is the funniest thing you've ever seen-- she looks exactly like the animated gif on the CitiKitty homepage. If this actually works, (Kyle cannot believe it!) I am sending her picture in to the website!

A content, almost toilet-trained cat. "I feel 5 pounds lighter!"

posted by sheryl | 9:20 PM | comments (1)

Clocked out

My 20-year old alarm clock finally fizzled out. Not bad for a Made in Taiwan piece of plastic!

This is how I knew it was finished:

Boo hoo!

posted by sheryl | 6:02 PM | comments (0)

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I'm not doing this with you TODAAAAAY

Don't forget to watch Being Bobby Brown (or as I heard on VH1, Being Next to Whitney Houston). This week we get to see Whitney do the running man while grilling:

Hell to the no!

posted by sheryl | 9:45 PM | comments (0)

I heart Gawker Stalker

I don't know why this entry made me laugh so much, but here:

the very next night at the same homo-infested gym, Robert Downey Jr. made a late-night cameo. it’s sad that I was at the gym at 930pm on a friday night, but thats not the point. He sang his little heart out while getting dressed and his assistant (?) just sat there, getting paid. Bobby looked a little tired, but was friendly enough to smile at me while I blew my nose.

Get more Stalker here!

posted by sheryl | 6:07 PM | comments (0)

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Hell to the nah!

So I can't wait for new episodes of Being Bobby Brown-- this is the reality show of reality shows! Between Bobby getting out of jail, Whitney's batshit "hell to the NAH!" and Bobby busting out Whitney's snoring and doo-doo problems, this is the craziest reality show evah. It is sad, unintentionally hilarious and totally degrading, all at the same time. Fourfour recapped all the best subtitled moments. I can't wait 'til this week when Whitney breaks this out:

Yeah-- definitely appointment TV!

NY Times: Bobby Brown Is Back, in Reality TV
Fourfour: I think I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life

posted by sheryl | 6:45 PM | comments (0)